Friday, 8 November 2013

I'm a Farmer's Wife

I'm a farmer's wife.

1.  The mudroom is dirty.  And that's not mud.

2.  If a newborn calf gets a hair dryer will come to the rescue.

3.  I'm ready with an old blanket or towel or pillow or rag.....whatever you need.

4.  Rubber boots get doesn't just happen to kids.  And that's not mud.

5.  Those clothes are really dirty.  They will need to be taken off outside and dried for a day.  Then brushed with a stiff bristled brush before they are put in the washing machine.  And that's not mud.

6.  Those clothes will have to be thrown out.  I can't save them.

7.  Some wives complain about finding a bottle cap in their husband's pocket.  I find handfuls of hay or straw or oats or nails....rusty nails.

8.  I've found rusty nails, nuts, bolts, baler twine, pocket knives, fencing steeples, money, pellets and bullets in the bottom of my washing machine....I'm surprised it hasn't exploded.  I washed his wallet once too.

9.  That cute little funnel I bought at the Tupperware party is nowhere to be found in the kitchen.  I can't find the sieve or the colander either.  The bathroom scales disappear sometimes too.  The scrub pail is gone.....but the mop is still here.

10.  I buy put ice cold water in.  We own about 6 of them.  But when the first hot hay day comes there are none to be found.  'Bring me some water'....turns into a game.  The thermoses are all hidden in other tractors or behind the seat of a truck or in a garage.

11.  I will take meals to the field.  And serve water out of weird containers.  There are no thermoses to be found.

12.  I sometimes don't know where my husband is exactly....or when he'll be home.  Just let me know how late is 'too late' for him to call you back.

13.  Notes on the table are common.  "Please pick me up over at the field"  "Please bring me some supper and water" a thermos?  WHERE'S the thermos?

14.  I can have the oldest barn clothes on....with a toque and be carrying a pail of rubbers are dirty and it isn't mud....and a gentleman will drive into the yard and ask to speak to my husband.  I will politely let him that he is away at work and ask if there is something that I can help him with....and he will refuse to let me know.  'He will need to speak with my husband'. 
Fine.  Be that way.
Good grief.

15.  Cows get out.  I put them back in.  I fix best I can.

16.  Electric fences work.  I touched one once by accident....and I was pregnant.  Sophie's got spark.

17.  I respond to those 'livestock' ads on kijiji.  No one else will make the call....and they need to know if those laying hens are still available!

18.  All our meals revolve around 'the meat'.  When they ask......'What's for supper?'.....I only have to say 'chicken' or 'roast' or 'pork chops'.  They know it's served with potatoes.

19.  I have a small stash of old fashioned light bulbs because the new kind won't throw the heat to unthaw a frozen water bowl.

20.  I fill the outdoor furnace with wood.  I pay the bills.  I pile hay on a wagon.

I'm a farmer's wife.

My boots are dirty.....and that's not mud.

I'm the luckiest girl in the world.



  1. And that's not mud...I love that Sophie has spark :)

  2. :) love number 16!

    1. I was such a wreck after that happened! I prayed the novena to St. Gerard again.


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